For this I was born!

Have you even experienced a moment in time, as you are going about your business, when you hear a God-whisper telling you This, my child. It is for this that you were born!“?

Oh, how I have longed for this my whole life. I have lived to please others and to tick all the boxes. I have sought perfection with vehement effort and I have failed so miserably, so many times. I have primmed and primped, I have tolled and strived to gain acceptance. I have cried and sobbed with anguish when none of it seemed to work. I am incredibly guilty of trying to earn my way into God’s good graces and yet, He still loves.

So, this year, after a long journey of acceptance – of myself and who God created me to be – I took a gigantic leap. A leap of trust, hope and faith. God spoke to me over a course of a few months, (along with a few practical and significant circumstance changes) and made it pretty clear that I needed to take a new direction with my life and my future, to pursue the calling that He has placed on my life. After much prayer and consideration, I, in obedience to God, took some steps to do just that. I resigned from my high level, full-time, well-paying job to pursue my love of writing.

As you could probably understand, it took a bit of getting used to being at home and having endless time and no deadlines to meet. I have to admit that I felt like a fish out of water for the first few weeks, and then I felt like a lazy slob and then after about the 2nd month, I started to feel like myself again – phew! But, through that whole time of adjustment, I was productive and I knew that I was doing what God asked me to do.

It was the week after I handed in my resignation to my boss that I got a call from a friend – someone who I love and cherish, but didn’t feel that I was particularly close to. She was in tears, and said that she just needed someone to talk to and that I was the first person that came to mind. Of course, I stopped what I was doing and arranged to meet up straight away. We spent the next few hours together, with me doing little talking and a whole lot of listening, heaps of praying, encouraging and hugging. The moment that we parted ways, I was so encouraged. I felt a sense of ‘right’.

I spent the rest of the day reflecting on that event – not because it was incredibly unusual or anything weird or significant happened necessarily – it was more the fact that I wouldn’t have been available to be there for my friend if I was still working. Out of obedience to my Lord, I was free to be the listening ear and the shoulder of support that my friend needed. I was so happy that I could be the source of the encouragement that she needed, right there and then.

This kind of scenario played out once a week for the next six weeks, as I worked to the end of my employment. Each week, a different person called on me, either by phone, or in person, or through written communication and reached out asking for someone to hear them, to listen, to love on them, encourage them, pray with them and ultimately, not judge them. I felt so privileged, so blessed that I could be that person for them. I was incredibly blown away each time it happened. Each time was like another confirmation from God that I was doing what He asked of me, what He was calling me to do.

Then, it didn’t happen again for a few months and I was wondering that maybe I got it wrong, or that I made a mistake or said something wrong. But, it wasn’t that, it was just quiet. God was quiet and my friends were quiet and I was journeying through adjusting to my new normal, for which I needed quiet, so I decided to accept that and let it go and let God do whatever work He needed to do in me.

I wasn’t until this past weekend when it happened again. I had come an hour early to Church so that my children could rehearse for the mini-play that they were performing in. I felt a prompting to go and talk to another one of the Mum’s who was sitting by herself. I had met her before, but didn’t really know her very well. So, I went and sat down with her and she just starting talking – she opened up and shared her story. I was so blown away. I was in tears, she was in tears and as we hugged, I heard a God-whisper: “This, my child. It is for this that you were born!

Oh, how my heart leapt! YES! Yes, now I see. It was for this simple moment that He created me. To bring encouragement and hope and a listening ear. To love on, welcome home, to hug and to cherish His children. To be His extension, His arms, His ears, His voice. To shine Jesus to the broken, the hurting, the confused, the mis-understood. Yes! I can do this! I was born for this!

I have yet to fully unpack and grasp all that this means for me, and I, by no means have “arrived”. No, in-fact, I think that the hard work is only just beginning. I have huge dreams and goals that are only just beginning to play out. I have so much more that I desire to do and be. But, how gracious is our Father God that He should take the time to confirm to me that I was on the right track and that I was doing what He asked of me. As I said earlier, I have seriously waited my whole life for that.

My one main goal in life has always been, and will always be, that at the end of my life, I will stand before my Lord and King and have Him say to me those beautiful, sweet words “well done, my good and faithful servant”. This is what I live for! So, what a gift to be given such an intimately beautiful God-whisper. God can do that for you too!

Esther was told that she was created for “such as time as this” (see Esther 4:14). All that she had lived through and experienced before that moment was preparing her, moulding her, guiding her, strengthening her. And once that pinnacle, that defining moment was done, it didn’t mean that her life was over. No, It meant that she was now living within her destiny. How glorious would that be? To live each moment knowing that you are doing exactly what you were created and designed for.

What are you hoping for in life? What is your end goal? What drives you? What were you created for? Do you too long to hear those words from your Father? What are you doing about it? What steps are you going to take to find that place where God wants you, where you are walking in what God has called you to do?

More about Conny Stewart

It says on my Twitter profile “God-lover, Wife, Mother, Business Women, Blogger and soon-to-be-Author. Passionate to see Women become ALL God has called them to be!” and well, that pretty much sums me up!

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